Hostbu: Quatre Phases
by bobbihachet
Summary: Yuuko grants a host's wish to split Haruhi into four girls. Ouran seems to have changed for the better with the presence of Haruhi and her three 'sisters', but what price is the Host club willing to pay? mild Host Club/xXxHOLiC xover & OC's
1. Quadruple

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any part of Ouran High School Host Club or xXxHolic. They belong to Bisco Hatori and CLAMP, respectively.

* * *

Chapter 1 Quadruple

He had expected witches to be old and decrepit. This witch was young, and so supple that she could wear scanty outfits. She sat upon a large divan, smoking a lengthy pipe. The customer tried to sit on his opposite sofa comfortably. It was tough due to the ribbons of smoke surrounding them. The nicotine exhaust acted like a partition between witch and client. White tendrils in the air shrouded the sitting room, saturating oxygen with the aroma of rosewood.

"Can't you split her into six equal shares?"

"Ah, ah," replied the witch with a wag of her finger. "Six is an unlucky number and too much trouble for me. Pick a smaller total."

"But what's the point if she can't be shared by everyone?!"

"Couldn't you and your 'family' share this woman as a single person?"

The customer fell silent.

After some moments, the witch sighed.

"I am only granting what is within my power." She paused to drag from her long pipe. "And what's more, if I were to proceed in granting your original wish, the price your 'family' has to pay would be even greater."

He warily considered this foreboding notion.

"Fine; if you can't do six then how about four?"

The witch's crimson eyes flashed at the new proposition. "Hmph, another unlucky number. Though, since this is within my scope of expertise, I will commence to fulfill your request!"

Her pipe was laid to rest on a nearby tray. She then clapped her hands for her aide.

"Watanuki! Bring me a piece of paper from the storage room."

-

With some grumbling and mumbling, the aide named Watanuki promptly returned with the piece of paper. The customer could not help but overhear the young man mutter something about 'slave drivers' and their 'selfish whims'. The witch began folding the sheet once Watanuki was gone. She folded widthwise, once, twice, three times, and stopped at four. Her customer was in awe of her nimble fingers.

Next, the witch reached into the dip of her dress. It was a bit nerve-racking to watch her hand rummage between the globes of her ample bosom, but the anxiety ceased as she pulled out what she was looking for: a gilded pair of scissors. In her left hand, she held the folded piece of paper; while in her right, she held the shears. Before she could cut anything, she set down the items on the table in front of her.

The witch looked solemnly at the client. She gave fair warning.

"I'll have you know that in order for this to work everything must start over from the beginning. From the time you and your friends met Fujioka Haruhi."

Nostrils flared; someone swallowed.

"Once I initiate this wish, all of your prior memories of Haruhi will disappear. This goes for the entire Host club," she warned. "Mind, anything you have lost will be replaced by the four entities that take her place."

She then picked up the folded paper and the scissors. The blades were poised to cut when she concluded,

"Are you sure this is what you desire?"

The customer nodded.

"Will you be prepared for the price that, not only you, but also your friends have to pay?"

"Yes," he said quietly.

"Can all of you tolerate the hardships as well as the joys that this wish entails?"

"I-I claim them all," he said aloud.

Silently, Yuko complied and began to cut. The gilded scissors cut out a head, a left arm, a right arm, a right leg and a left leg. When she finished, the folded piece of paper was a compact paper doll. The witch incanted her spell:

"_Divide bravery, peace, honesty, and love. What was once single, become quartered."_

The paper doll was unfolded; it became four girls holding hands.

-

OMAKE (Just in case this first chapter blows, but people still want to be entertained.)

"Do you want this thing?" asked Yuuko. "The spell is done."

She held the string of paper dolls by a thumb and forefinger.

"You mean it's not important anymore?!" exclaimed the client.

* * *

Author: This is the first chapter. Hopefully it didn't blow too much. Yuuko and Watanuki will be making guest star appearances later on, but this is strictly Host-bu.


	2. Nekozawa's Dilemma 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any part of Ouran High School Host Club or xXxHolic. They belong to Bisco Hatori and CLAMP, respectively.

* * *

Chapter 2 Nekozawa's Dilemma 1

The world was not so different on the days that followed. Ouran Academy was still a place for children of the wealthy to hang out and enjoy their idle time.

Though, there was a stir among the members of the Black Magic Club. Nekozawa, the president, had abandoned his black wig, revealing his luxurious blonde hair. The females from the high school down to the preschool were all in a tizzy. The Black Magic Club would not comment on their president's new image, but Kyouya of the Host club had something to say about it.

"Thanks to that Nekozawa we're losing money!" groused Kyouya during club time.

True, a great chunk of their fujoshi clientele was absent from the club room. There were enough girls to keep each of the hosts busy but just not enough to make their daily quota. This was much too much of a loss for the Shadow King.

The youth in question was sitting upright--one leg over the other and arms crossed--in a French-gilt Rococo fauteuils chair. His beloved finance book was on a marble table in front of him. He had just subtracted the total profit from the expenses of the cakes and beverages. The final sum was devastating. To add insult to injury the Twins were waltzing up to him, getting ready to pounce.

"Well, this was to be expected," announced Kaoru. "We charge most of a student's average allowance. As for Nekozawa-sempai, the girls can gawk at him for free."

Free, what a nasty word to Kyouya's money sense. He made an effort to glare at the devils towering over him. Each had an arm around his brother's shoulders; their looming shadow looked like a two-headed monster.

"What's not expected is," followed Hikaru, "that you don't have a back-up plan."

Kaoru snickered, "Yeah… Usually, you come up with some scheme to put us back on top."

"But right now, you're sitting in a far corner, sulking."

"I guess even the Shadow King can have his off-days."

"Or maybe, the great Ootori Kyouya has finally been one-upped?"

Then the two dealt the finishing blow.

"Honestly, Kyouya... This is something we expected from Tono."

Before the devious twins could continue their tag-team insults, Kyouya's aura darkened a shade.

"You know, there is something called the Black Ops within the Ootori Private Police Force. They are specially trained in stealth missions." The Shadow King's voice lowered to the most sinister tenor. "... so they could easily steal two brothers from their bed and lock them away some place where they would never see the light of day again..."

As he went into detail of what tortures would befall the two brothers, Hikaru and Kaoru ran off screaming. Kyouya watched after them, being too irritated for the follow through. Tamaki dared to come near him as the twins ran off to the comfort of Haruhi's side. His never-failing enthusiasm was the polar opposite of the miasma permeating the room.

"Don't fret, Kyouya! I'm sure this fascination with Nekozawa-sempai will blow over soon. Our profits will surely boost to the nine digits within the week."

For once, negative energy succumbed to the positive. Mori and Hunny looked up from their customers. Haruhi took notice, too, and even the Twins peeked from behind a Venetian sofa. Kyouya's slump looked like it was letting up.

Thank heavens.

"OH, MY GOD--! Everyone, check out Nekozawa-sempai--!"

"His eyes are CERULEAN!"

This prospect of witnessing a blue-eyed Japanese, which would be real and not cosplay, was too much for the remaining customers. They abandoned their current hosts and raced out of the third music room. For a whole moment the place was a flurry of yellow and lacey petticoats. Everyone was flabbergasted as the last girl scampered out.

Tamaki acknowledged the straggler.

"Et tu, Renge?"

"Just put my Jasmine tea on my tab, Kyouya!"

The manic fujoshi didn't even look back. Her echoing footsteps could be heard following the stampede. It became very still in the third music room. Kyouya appeared to be shell-shocked by the whole thing. Yet, all of the hosts could feel the room get a few degrees colder. Good thing something interrupted Kyouya before he could engulf the room in Hell-frozen ice.

A face appeared from behind the club room doors. She looked around the nearly deserted Host club. Two curly pigtails fluttered about her head.

"Looks like club activities are done for the day!"

"Haruka!" cried Haruhi. "What are you doing here?!"

* * *

Author: Okay, I'll admit discrepancies in my own story for all hard-core fans.1) Kyouya would never sit around and sulk. He always has a plan! 2) Hikaru and Kaoru would not go near Kyouya when he was in a mood; they value their life too much. And 3) Renge has proved to be immune to Nekozawa's looks in Episode 11 of the anime. So, here I go flaunting my creative license. La-di-da~! See you next chapter!


	3. Nekozawa's Dilemma 2

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any part of Ouran High School Host Club or xXxHolic. They belong to Bisco Hatori and CLAMP, respectively.

* * *

Chapter 3 Nekozawa's Dilemma 2

They greeted like a descending barbershop quartet. Each salutation was followed by another on a lower octave. Their order was always youngest sister, second sister, third sister, and first--

"Konich-wa~!"

"Konichiwa~!"

"Konbanwa~!"

"Haruko, it's not 'good evening'..." said Haruhi exasperatedly. She was the oldest sister and the lowest voice out of the four. She was also someone with no ear for music.

Haruko, the third sister, returned with a deadpan face. "I'm just trying to be different."

Haruka, the second sister, ruffled Haruko's straight, long hair. "Don't worry, Ko-chan's just out there!"

"Which isn't so bad!" said Harumi, the youngest. She was holding unto the hand of a tall and sullen girl who was tagging along. "Come on, friend! They're all gone now!"

"Ah, the lovely HiKa KoMi sisters are all together!" exalted Tamaki. He spun in his most dramatic flourish before he took one of the sisters into his arms. "Now Harumi, enlighten us, why have you and your delectable siblings come to the Host Club?"

Unaffected by Tono's charms, Harumi pointed to the waif of a girl clinging to her hand.

"We needed to hide Nekozawa-sempai."

"Eh?! Nekozawa-sempai?!"

Underneath the brown wig, there were strands of blonde hair and a twinkle of cerulean eyes. Indeed it was Nekozawa Umehito... in yellow, poufy drag.

-

Everyone was seated on the Venetian couches near one of the windows. Haruka, Haruko, Harumi, and Nekozawa sat on one couch, with their backs to the sunlit window. The Host club lounged about on the opposite couch. At the moment, Hikaru and Kaoru were playing Twenty Questions.

"So… You were the ones who called out in the hallway--?" Kaoru asked.

Haruka and Harumi both nodded nervously.

"—and made all our customers run away--?"

Nod.

"—and disguised Nekozawa-sempai as a girl--? "

Nod.

"--Not to mention, made Kyouya miserable?"

Haruka nodded. "That, too."

"B-but not intentionally!" Harumi waved her hands in denial.

The brothers went into gut-wrenching hysterics. "That's fabulous!" they cried.

Haruko, who had been with them from the beginning, claimed no part of the scheme. She was not a plotter like her sisters.

"What about you, Nekozawa-sempai?" inquired Tamaki. "Why are you running away from your newfound fame?" He was about to be readily amused if this was a matter concerning a love interest.

Nekozawa hesitated, clenching and unclenching his yellow skirt. Haruka noticed his discomfort; she got up from her seat to smack Tamaki upside the head for not doing the same.

"What this dummkopf means to say is, 'Why did you change your appearance, Nekozawa-sempai?'"

"Kirimi--"

"So, the reason why you took off your black wig was for Kirimi?" asked Haruhi.

Drag queen Nekozawa dipped his head. "My baby sister recently started kindergarten at Ouran today. I thought she would be happy if I accompanied her to school. She's no longer afraid of me and we play so much at home.

"But, when we had neared the kindergarten section, she said—

_'Don't follow me anymore... You'll embarrass me!'_

"I was so hurt by her objection I had run out of the car and into the sunlight!"

This cued more of the twins' laughter.

"Oh, how awful", said Harumi. When she sympathized with others, she was always sincere. The twins stopped laughing to roll their eyes.

"Hm," Kyouya thought aloud. "Apparently, Kirimi's peers would be frightened of her brother's usual appearance."

"Kirimi is still a child, so naturally she would pick her friends over her brother; even if it does hurt his feelings," Haruko concurred. The few opportunities she spoke up were to accompany or contrast Kyouya's explanations.

"So you took off your Black Magic get-up and risked the sunlight for her?" asked Haruka.

"Yes, and I was a hit with her classmates. For a week now, they have insisted to see me every time Kirimi came to class."

Hunny thoughtfully observed, "Oh, so now that you're not dressed in black you've become the next big thing."

"Yes, I didn't realize how much attention I would get because of my looks. It has become difficult to roam the halls without getting mobbed."

The usually ominous voice sounded very tired now. Nekozawa slipped off the brunette wig and fingered one of his golden locks absent-mindedly. Crazed fan girls from all twelve grades had chased him around the campus for three days. He had been disgusted that even the middle-aged lunch ladies had the hots for him also.

"If you were having so much trouble, why didn't you ask your friends from the Black Magic club?" questioned Hikaru.

"He can't--!" cried Harumi.

"What do you mean 'he can't'--?"

"They think I'm a traitor!" Nekozawa blurted out so forcefully it startled everyone. "Ever since I got rid of my wig and cloak, they think I've changed!

"My friends think I've become one of the Light Creatures. A self-indulgent flower among a meadow of indistinguishable clones! Someone who's obsessed with frivolous things like popularity, and Uno, and sunlight, good skin, and commoners' ramen—!"

While Nekozawa went on with his bemoaning monologue, everyone around him grew bored to tears. They could not understand his anguish. They were creatures of the light; ones, who were popular, played Uno, liked sunlight, had good skin, and ate commoners' ramen.

"They wouldn't help me even when I begged", he said dejectedly. "But, I'm still the same Nekozawa..."

Everyone fell silent afterwards. There were unspoken condolences that wafted in the air, but would seem redundant if said aloud. When the stillness wore out, the president was already brimming with excitement.

"Alright, I have it!"

The Hika Komi Sisters heaved their sighs. "Here we go--" they said in unintentional harmony.

Tamaki got up to his feet on the couch cushions, upsetting Haruhi and the others hosts in the process. Then he took a great leap onto the center table between the two sofas. He bent down in front of Nekozawa to confront him.

"Nekozawa-sempai, you want to reconcile with the Black Magic Club and to be accepted by Kirimi's new classmates, correct?"

"Y-Yes--?"

"Then, leave everything to us! We'll make both of your wishes come true!"

Immediately, Tamaki began pointing at people and spouted orders. Hunny-sempai needed to find Kanazuki Reiko of the Black Magic club and convince her to arrange a meeting with the Host-bu; Mori-sempai was to go with him if she put up a struggle. Kyouya was to contact Ouran's kindergarten and organize a special 'enrichment program' that the Host-bu would demonstrate in Kirimi's class. Hikaru and Kaoru, being such wily devils, were to gather any materials that they could use to cause unspeakable horrors. Finally, Tamaki told the Hika Komi sisters to gather black sheets; one for every host and every girl. They were to wait for his further instructions until negotiations with the Black Magic Club came through.

Once everyone was engaged on an assignment, Tamaki grinned in anticipation.

"Operations Reunite Black Magic Club and Introduce Children to Nekozawa-sempai are now underway!"

-

OMAKE

Then, Tono pointed to the only other person dressed in drag.

"Oh, Nekozawa-sempai," remarked Tamaki, "take off that girl's uniform. You look hideous."

Nekozawa gasped incredulously. "But the girls said I was ravishing!"

* * *

Author: Why hasn't Nekozawa fainted from sun exposure yet? I don't know! That's more of my creative license! YAY!

And don't worry about the girls. They are a bit confusing to tell apart right now, but I assure you things will be easier down the road. This chapter was just to establish their relationship with Haruhi and the Host club. I had a bit of trouble keeping the eleven characters choreographed in this chapter while trying to maintain the original characters' personalities. So if anyone has suggestions on how to organize such a large cast, please tell in your comments. Much appreciated, thank you!


End file.
